A Friendship That We Lost
by electricblue1214
Summary: Just a depressing one-shot from real events in my life.


A Friendship That We Lost

Did you ever have that uncomfortable feeling when I caught you looking at me?

I always wonder what goes through your mind; what you see under a mass of ebony hair and chocolate eyes. You always glanced at my direction, and I would always smile back; a smile that wasn't forced. The glimpse of teeth is what always made my day.

The thing that surprised me the most was that you would always put aside the longing to speak with your companions to find me standing alone in a corner of my own, conversing about the day and stories you would tell me. You intrigued me with a sweetness I have never come to know until you came along. The passion of the choice of words you spoke with were unorthodox, but just made enough sense for me to understand and get a good chuckle or two.

I only had one best friend at that time, and she would always be pulled away to be with the children of popularity. I had no one else to speak to, they would all shut me out. But you never shut me out.

You would always want to be my partner, whereas we were always in the past out of random choice. We built a bond over the years, people often called you my "boyfriend", which you were not.

I always heard from your friends that you had an interest in me, them often trying to push you into me, or waiting patiently for something grand to happen between us, but nothing ever did. I actually enjoyed some of the times where I got to tease you, just for a little bit, causing you to turn a color of crimson. I found it adorable. Then the time when you held my hand attracted attention to the both of us.

Besides from all the pleasant moments, there were very bad ones. We continued to bicker back and forth over the series of half a decade, probably about one of the least, most useless subjects in the world. I would sometimes lash out my anger at you with your happiness contradicting my depression, often blocking it. I also told you about my attempts of suicide, and you would always plead to tell me not to, which I would agree with.

You did almost everything for me, and I felt guilty when I felt I couldn't do anything for you in return. But I had as much affect on you as you did on me, so it evened out.

Then we created a circle of friends, including my best friend and yours and we were all happily in group and thay was it. At least, I thought.

That was, until you changed.

Now you hang out with a group of boys, completely neglecting me. Most of the time I feel lonely without you. I miss you. It takes about a month for you now to say a word to me. I feel as I have been replaced. And I have been.

A girl, trying to be popular, takes my place now. She took away my best friend and made an abusive, cursing, perverted creature out of her. I can't even consider her my best friend anymore. Now all they care about is themselves and their credit to those of a supoosedly higher rank. Now I feel like you're starting to be like that too.

You're not as bad though.

You're still the cursing, loud, caring person I know, but now you seem different. You make rude comments, and now you seem not as joyful as usual. They are getting to your head. The girl that took my place is now changing you and your friend. Your best friend and her get along quite well now, often leaving you out only for you to head to the others. You neglect their negative comments.

But still, you seem to like her more than me now.

I watch you from a distance, often holding your gaze with mine, but you shake your head and look away, as if I'm not important to you anymore. As if I don't matter. You were the only one that would keep me feom suicide in the past, but there's no one to stop me now.

No, I will not cut myself, but sometimes I linger on the kitchen knife handle and point the blade to my flesh, not wanting my life to end yet. I used to be an optimistic with you, but the tension is wearing away. You have no idea how much you've hurt me.

Just in time though, I found another group of friends, people who get me. They are the only ones that keep me thriving.

My life takes a direction upward, my life seeming to come back again. They treat me well, but not as good as you did. We still have lots of fun; I still have lots of fun without you.

Then I befriend the girl that took my place. She is not as bad as she seems, as long as keep a clear mind from her trying to manipulate me. Once she realized I can't be changed and I got to know her, I realize her true identity as a kind person, and was being just as neglected as I was. I found out she was just like me, except she everyone to like her. I teach her some of my ways, and we are both turning out just find. She is now one of my best friends today.

But even when she and I became friends, you still only talk to her and not me.

No matter how hard I try, you still won't budge.

But there are still traces of our post friendship there; it's just that we're too afraid to budge, thinking the other would be furious, and that's right. I'm still mad, but I'm not a person to hold grudges. I've forgiven you by now, and I've realized I can do just fine without you in my life.

So keep your peer pressured friends and your new life, and I'll keep my new friends and life. Keep your over passionate optimism to yourself.

Because when I wake up in the morning, it just doesn't hurt as much anymore.

I realized that I can move on.

But it's unfortunate that there was a precious friendship that we lost.

* * *

**Hey people! I just wanted to say I saw ForeverDreamer12's one shots and well... yeah. This kind of interprets what's going on with me, just tweaked into a **

**version of Ninjago. I hope you enjoyed it I guess. Thanks!**


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